Basics: If I date someone trans does that make me gay?

Let’s approach this logically:


If you’re a woman dating a trans man, then no, because they are a man.

If you’re a man dating a trans woman, then also that’s a no, because they are a woman.

If you’re a woman dating a woman, then, well, you get where this is going.

Guys, and it is mostly guys so I’m taking aim at them here, if you are dating or sleeping with a trans woman I’ve news for you – it doesn’t make you gay. Or even bisexual, your precious hetro status is unchanged. No gay. You’re a guy with a woman, what could be more typical than that?

Oh yeah, bro-guy could argue, what about when the woman has, y’know, junk in the front-trunk. Oh bro-guy, whatever is in the downstairs doesn’t matter, because she’s a woman. So regardless of what’s down there, you’re still hetro.

I’m bisexual and for me what’s downstairs is less important than what’s upstairs. Date someone who excites your brain and gets your juices flowing, after that it’s all a bonus.

NB: I accidentally pressed publish instead of draft – oops. I retracted the post, edited it and it’s now reposted. Sorry all!


The Basics is a series of articles that form a short guide to transgender terms, trans history, and what it means to be trans. It’s not meant to be exhaustive but rather an easy place to get started. You can find all the Basics articles over here.

Female geek, author and blogger. Non-cis, non-straight, non-single, non-asshat.

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